Burger and Beer to the Rescue

There is nothing worse than a three-hour night class. That’s definitely hyperbole, but three hours of lecture in the middle of dinnertime leaves the stomach craving to be filled, and the brain craving to be emptied. Every semester I say that I wont take another three-hour night class, and every semester I end up having to take one to make my class schedule include the necessary courses while working around babysitting for my son. This semester I had to take two of them. The key to trudging through three hours of power point is a burger and a beer.

As the night class approaches, the body isn’t ready to eat yet, but if you don’t eat you’ll regret it come 8:30. So how can one force themselves into eating something that will get them through—eat something so delicious that the lack of hunger doesn’t matter. The burger is more than just fuel, it is a taste orgasm. The rich flavors of a juicy beef patty contrasts the clean, crisp, flavors of the lettuce, tomato, and onion. The condiments, preferably mayo, mix in with the produce like a dressed salad. Most importantly, due to the sandwich nature of the burger, it is easy to hold and can be devoured on the move, or while doing homework.

With the belly full, the student has the fuel to get through the three-hour marathon, but what about the mental fatigue? That’s where the beer races across the beach, hops and yeast bouncing up and down, ready to dive in and rescue the drowning student. Don’t make the rookie mistake and just drink a 12-ounce light beer, this will only tease the brain into restlessness. No, the brain needs 24 ounces of liquid bread to numb it into listening to a professor read their power point for three hours. If the class requires frequent participation, the beer will also allow the student to give explicit opinions, but be careful that it doesn’t loosen you so much that you use explicit language. Know your limits.

Pro-tips: Don’t drink and drive. Don’t drink on campus. Keep it local and try a hole in the wall burger shop. Keep it cheap and buy a 24-ounce Natural Ice (easy drinking, and has 5.9% alcohol content).


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